AC (2016), Superia 800 film

I believe that nakedness feels like how I really exist in the world, but I have a fascination with undergarments that are comfortable and not necessarily gendered, just purposeful and beautiful. 

I've noticed that when I regard my femininity, it's really only in the sense of my existence. I grew up with a mother that didn't accept, and never really regarded my own brand of femininity as something that can exist in the world we lived in. My childhood consisted of scolding for bruises I would mindlessly gather on the playground, adolescence filled with questions about my sexuality, and adulthood saw the end when I realized there was an expectation I had to fulfill. I punished myself for a very long time. I still creep into those old ways when I'm not paying attention, but I catch myself now, I'm much more patient. 

I think emotional abuse isn't just as simple as calling someone stupid or worthless, it's a deeper refusal of someone's identity, of their self. I found myself as an adult fighting for who I knew I was, and I came to that ago old realization that everything isn't a fight. I can't fight that my expression non-binary, and therefore, subversive. It's a constant lesson, but divorcing my parent to focus on my mental health opened the door to my life as it is now. I have much more peace, in knowing that my identity is strong, lovely, feminine, and constantly blossoming.

I have no limits for how I define my femininity, even my woman-ness, I began by choosing whatever hairstyle I crave, like shaving my head in the dead of winter, or growing it out. We'll see whats next! I believe femininity is as given as your existence, and therefore very individual.